I spent years hating my body. I was constantly trying to hide it, or “fix it,” or just being ashamed of it. Many factors contributed to this; men, religion, my own internal battles with accepting myself. It’s taken me until my current age to finally journey into radical self-love + acceptance of my body- the beautiful temple that houses my spirit.
I know this is something many women deal with. Especially those of us who have had children or have been through any other life-shattering changes. For me, this was not only having my child three years ago but also going through a divorce after that. After being with the same person for years it’s scary to think that someone new has to love + accept you one day when you thought you’d found forever in someone else. I was plagued with self-conscious thoughts about my stretch marks, my breasts after breastfeeding my child for 2+ years, and honestly just feeling “unwanted” which is common after a divorce that was unexpected.
but I’m locked into this journey + my mind is transforming. I want to also encourage you to take this journey with me. For you to start loving yourself right now, in all your glory. Not when you find a new man, or lose the baby weight, or whatever other marker you’ve set for yourself to finally feel [worthy].
let me hip you to what everybody else sees in you but you- YOU’RE ALREADY [IT] SIS!
I know, I know. Saying that doesn’t make you accept yourself overnight. But here are some things I’ve been doing to really tap into this space:
1) affirmations ✨
I love writing affirmations. It’s a valuable part of my journaling practice!
shameless plug- [check out my handmade journals at emboldenpaperco.com] but one thing I do is make sure I positively affirm my body.
“my body is absolutely amazing”
“I love my body without conditions”
“I respect my body and treat her gently”
no, it’s not corny. Think of all the harmful things we can let slip through our lips regarding ourselves. I still catch myself doing it, which is why affirmations are so important in counteracting what I already spoke, and therefore convinced my mind, regarding my body. Write down the things you love about your body!
2) get creative 🎨
if you look into awakening your divine feminine energy, you will find that creativity is a huge part of that. Find new ways to express yourself! My friend Alex really challenged my views on creativity recently. I never felt like I had creative talents. I mean, I can’t draw or paint. However, I do write beautiful words. And I do build journals from scratch. And I also make my own body products because I’m really about that natural lifestyle. That’s all creativity! So find what inspires you and express it through your natural talents + gifts. Creating really does something to our view of our self. And I think it was God’s intention to have it that way. Think about it. God, The Divine, The Holy Spirit- created everything! And also gave [us] the same ability to [create]! It truly is unique and will help you to feel like the badass you are.
3) take nudes 😏
ok, I debated on including this but hear me out. Because I’m single, I simply take nudes to appreciate my body exactly as it is. I look at them + reflect on how this vessel is sustaining my life. I look at them to feel sexy. I look at them to stop feeling ashamed! If we don’t truly look at ourselves, and enjoy ourselves, we can’t expect that someone else will one day. But to all the ladies in relationships- send ya man them nudes babygirl 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 his compliments will help you to feel more confident in yourself. If he truly loves you the way he should, his energy will boost your energy regarding your body.
4) self-care routine 🧘🏾♀️
it’s no secret to those who know me that I love self-care. It is undoubtedly how I balance myself out + make myself feel good. I take baths often with candles and sweet-smelling oils. I read books that interest me. I indulge in skin-care routines. I work out several days a week. All of these things, and just simply knowing that I’m caring for myself in a way that no one else can, contributes to my self-love journey. Don’t put yourself on the back burner. Make that time for y o u. It’s crucial and you deserve it, k?
I hope that something here resonated with you. Even if it was only me sharing my truth about my struggles. It’s never too late to start radically accepting your present self + rejecting the lie that there is something wrong, you aren’t good enough or that you won’t be worthy until [ _____ ].
the time is now!
xoxo, Dre Laurin.